2 Ears and 1 Mouth: There's a Reason
A question may yield a thousand answers, but a statement will yield none.
Starting five companies, I have been fortunate to have worked with many different types of people. I've come to a conclusion. There are generally two types of people: those who ask questions and those who make statements.
I've found that those who ask questions are generally more likely to succeed. Those who make statements tend to serve a short term purpose and eventually fall behind.
There aren't a lot of people who are comfortable asking questions. People feel as though it is a sign of weakness, a lack of expertise or are fearful of looking dumb. Asking good questions isn't easy.
There's that old saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid question." I disagree. I think that safety net goes away after the 5th grade. There are ways to ask questions that establish your expertise and there are bad questions that can ruin credibility. Every question, in fact, is a statement in itself. Good questions can make a positive statement: perhaps that you want to learn, that you care about the answer, that you are building your knowledgebase of expertise, etc.
I learn a lot about people simply by the questions they ask. Those who ask questions, learn. Those who make statements miss out on opportunities to learn. If you're talking you aren't listening.
When looking at new companies, in the first 10 minutes, I can generally gauge how successful that company will be, simply by paying attention to the quality of the questions the team asks. Or when interviewing new candidates, I can get a sense of what someone's thought process is like by the kinds of questions they ask.
At all of my companies, my most successful people have been good question askers.
I also find that asking questions is a tremendous selling tool. When working with customers or potential partners, I spend most of the meeting time asking customers questions about their business, their goals, their insight into technology, the market, etc. This gives me a clear understanding of their business and puts me in a much better position to present a solution to their problem. Further, it gives them a sense of confidence and comfort that I understand their business and the solution I propose is much more credible. I always tell sales reps that we're not there to talk about -our- business, we're there to talk about -their- business.
Seeing as how we have two ears and one mouth, I think it's a good rule to try to listen at least twice as much as we talk...
Starting five companies, I have been fortunate to have worked with many different types of people. I've come to a conclusion. There are generally two types of people: those who ask questions and those who make statements.
I've found that those who ask questions are generally more likely to succeed. Those who make statements tend to serve a short term purpose and eventually fall behind.
There aren't a lot of people who are comfortable asking questions. People feel as though it is a sign of weakness, a lack of expertise or are fearful of looking dumb. Asking good questions isn't easy.
There's that old saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid question." I disagree. I think that safety net goes away after the 5th grade. There are ways to ask questions that establish your expertise and there are bad questions that can ruin credibility. Every question, in fact, is a statement in itself. Good questions can make a positive statement: perhaps that you want to learn, that you care about the answer, that you are building your knowledgebase of expertise, etc.
I learn a lot about people simply by the questions they ask. Those who ask questions, learn. Those who make statements miss out on opportunities to learn. If you're talking you aren't listening.
When looking at new companies, in the first 10 minutes, I can generally gauge how successful that company will be, simply by paying attention to the quality of the questions the team asks. Or when interviewing new candidates, I can get a sense of what someone's thought process is like by the kinds of questions they ask.
At all of my companies, my most successful people have been good question askers.
I also find that asking questions is a tremendous selling tool. When working with customers or potential partners, I spend most of the meeting time asking customers questions about their business, their goals, their insight into technology, the market, etc. This gives me a clear understanding of their business and puts me in a much better position to present a solution to their problem. Further, it gives them a sense of confidence and comfort that I understand their business and the solution I propose is much more credible. I always tell sales reps that we're not there to talk about -our- business, we're there to talk about -their- business.
Seeing as how we have two ears and one mouth, I think it's a good rule to try to listen at least twice as much as we talk...
Labels: organizational communication, questions


Question, how long did it take you to write that post? Wise words my friend, wise words. The bible says something to the effect of "be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."
Thanks frank, have a good one
- Jasen
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:45 AM
Excellent post and advice well worth heeding. I'd be interested in your opinion on the following question.
Is the skill of asking questions a learn-able skill that individuals can use to increase their probability of success, or is it an inherent skill that truly offers insight into an individual's character make-up and intellectual ability ... or somewhere in between?
dg
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:36 PM
Anonymous (dg) -
Great question. Personally, I do believe it is learnable. However, I have seen a lot of people do a very poor job asking questions. It ends up coming across as insincere and cheesy.
I think some people are just built in such a way where they are naturally inquisitive and do an excellent job at asking the right questions at the right time, in the right way. I'm always impressed when I meet someone like this, they are few and far between.
In general, I think most people have it in them and it simply becomes a conscience choice to speak less, which forces them to ask questions simply to keep the conversation going.
Thanks for the question.
Posted by
Frank Addante |
9:11 AM
hahaha --- too funny. "Two ears and a mouth" advice from a guy that runs off at the mouth (the keyboard...) spewing his opinions to the world from his pulpit. Look in the mirror. Are you listening?
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:32 PM